In which the weather softens our intrepid hero and pushes him to the brink of melting

Hey! Friday! That means it should be about time to write another web-o-blog-mail thing.

To nobody’s surprise, it’s hot. In fact, it’s really hot. The kind of hot where decorum goes straight out the window and you wear as little clothing as possible just so you don’t drown in your own sweat. (Lovely image, eh?) And because we’re in the rainy season again, it’s not the tolerable “dry heat”; it’s the miserable, humid, sticky, walk-around-the-house-in-boxers-so-you-don’t-die, July-in-Wisconsin hot.

It’s kind of disturbing how well I’ve acclimated to it. I can be sitting at my desk, working on something, and be tolerably comfortable. Then, I’ll stand up and wonder why I’ve just broken into a sweat for no reason. It then occurs to me that the temperature is close to 100 degrees, and I whimper softly to myself as I head to the fridge for cold water. It’s also disturbing when you walk into an air-conditioned office and think to yourself, “It’s too cold in here! I want to go back outside!” Now, I can hear all of you Midwesterners grumbling at me under your breath. Just wait: you’ll get yours.

It does get tolerable, however, when it rains. The wind blows, the sky darkens, and the temperature comes down about 15 degrees. It blows for about 30-45 minutes before any precipitation actually falls, and then it gets really calm. Eerily still. 10 minutes later, water begins to pour out of the sky like it’s coming from a tap and the temperature drops another 10 or 15 degrees. The length of these storms varies, but they usually last at least half an hour before calming down to a nice drizzle and then either petering out or cranking back up for another few hours. It’s interesting how jarring a drop from 95 to 70 can be; your body kinda forcibly relaxes, your brain speeds up, and you get almost kinda giddy.

Invariably, the power goes out. There’s about a 20% chance of the power staying on during the storm, but I only had to trip over my shoes once before I started to keep candles and matches all over the house. The kerosene lamp is always ready to go, in addition to my flashlight, cellphone (with built-in flashlight — seriously. Bet you can’t bathe by the light of your iPhone. Poser.), battery-powered fluorescent lamp (thanks, Aunt Louise!), and ball-cap headlamp (thanks, Dad!). Of course, the cell towers have battery and generator backups, so they stay up *most* of the time. There’s delicious irony in checking your email by the light of a kerosene lamp. Doing dishes by candlelight, however, universally sucks.

Well, That’s all I’ve got. Until next time…

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I'm just this guy, you know?